Elephant in the Corner

My life, has forever been a challenge

I struggled - each day in a spiral of confusion

Searching for the true self - who was l? What had been before me?

What was my pathway, where should have I turned?

My faith in self - failing.

My mind flooded- terrified of all that was – All that seems to be

Shouts of failure.

The unlovable,

The soul without worth, without purpose

Words of pain spoken by the monsters in my world burnt like acid into my brain, distorting my mind, my soul

All purpose gone

I was caste out with the garbage, laying bear until the world

The weather stripped all self from me

Tears of pain scorched my face

Time passed,

the weather tore my trunk from the beaten self-

I could no longer call out,

I knew not the words

I was without strength

Without hope accepting that I was condemned for ever in the spiral of self loathing

Until

One day while sifting garbage - bending to pick up that one extra can - a person, maybe an angel, stopped and looked down into my eyes.

Our broken souls met

I sensed her need to put her pain

Her story of all that had been in solid form when she gently lifted me up and put me in her bag.

She washed me and rubbed me but I felt safe.

She painted me orange and painted my face and then she gave me a special trunk of clay.

I had cracks and bumps all over myself

A map marking all that had been

but she gently wiped them

and let them be cos all of these weird bits are what makes me.