Luv Hurts

We hadn’t planned it. 

We hadn’t planned anything. 

It was just a meeting of the souls. 

We were at the conference. 

We didn’t know each other. 

I listened to his presentation on the secret power of language and how words were just a basic primitive tool that the wise use to manipulate the gullible. 

I challenged him, talking of the beauty of language and how this beauty allows one to grow, to build a strong reliant world. 

After the lecture he came over 

Some of us were still playing with these concepts. 

Is love real? 

Does it exist or is it simply a byproduct of refined language ? 

How can a collection of letters have strength and how can this strength be explained?

It was eight weeks. 

First a tad of nausea, then a bit of dizziness and tiredness. 

The Dr at college wanted to do that test but I said no! 

I couldn’t, 

I hadn’t 

But inside I was counting the days. 

I never saw him again. 

He never knew. 

He had flown back home to the States. 

I made a choice 

The moment it showed positive my world changed.

He is the center of my world. 

There were thoughts, questions but never that possibility.

That was 6 yrs ago and I suddenly realise what’s meant when the words love hurts are spoken. 

I looked at the table. 

Water bottle, 

2 cheese sticks, 

A jam sandwich 

Then on the bed 

Navy shorts and shirt, jocks with Spider-Man on them 

And shoes and socks that reminded me that he was not that fragile baby any more. 

The sky was painted with a gentle shade of pink and gold. 

I had not slept. 

I had to let him explore this world - to take his own steps 

Mark his own path. 

Make his own relationship with language 

Hopefully finding  his own meaning to life.

I looked at the time 04.23 

He can’t be my little boy forever but he can be whoever he works at being and I will stand beside him.

I opened his door just a tad. 

“Luv hurts” when you realise it’s time to change that that is  

To that that maybe.